The Ten Commandments

Here is the problem with the Big 10: the ideas were great thousands of years ago, but they have grown somewhat watered down over time. Now, I know, some of you are saying that right is right and wrong is wrong, and I happen to agree with you, to a point, but it is time to re-examine these ten ideas and apply them to our times.Let’s go through them:

· The first four we can eliminate immediately. WORSHIP NO ONE BUT ME falls under the heading of monopoly, KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH is out because half the week will be kept holy, depending on your faith, MAKE NO IDOLS got pissed away a long time ago. Shit, most of Rome would be eliminated by this idea. TAKE NOT MY NAME IN VAIN again suggest arrogance and proprietarianism, which contradicts what the so-called clerics teach. So there is 40% wiped out right there. We are doing some serious damn streamlining here!

· HONOR YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER Well, what if they are assholes? No, really, think about this for a minute. What if they come from that very still and murky gene pool that should never have been allowed to reproduce. Do I honor them? What if daddy used to rape me, or mommy used to pimp me out to get money for heroin? That's not funny, that’s real. So that one is out, too.

· THOU SHALT NOT KILL Well, the problem with this one is that while it is a very nice notion, but it is more of a suggestion than a Commandment, wouldn’t you say. Don’t kill, unless your church, state, or country tell you that you have to go and get busy with. We won’t eliminate this, but let’s put it to the side, for now, so we can revisit.

· THOU SHALT NOT STEAL This is good, simple and to the point. I like this one, it’s a keeper. The only problem is this: if your church or your country tells you ok to do this in someone else’s country, it stops being theft, and becomes conquering, and occupying.

· THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY this is a tough one, as we all know. It worked fairly well way back when, at a time when 30 was a long life span. Things that were not taken into account when this was written: people will live longer, and have more time to spend together. Thus making this one tougher and tougher. Also, people evolve, from day to day, and they change. They grow apart. And it isn’t because one or the other did something, it just is the way the world moved on.

· THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS this is the best of the lot, in my opinion. Don’t lie. How much simpler can you get? Tell the truth.

· THOU SHALT NOT COVET This is out completely, and why, you ask? Because it goes directly against human nature. It is normal and natural. Someone has more money, more stuff, a nicer car, a nicer home. We won’t get into the spouse thing, just pass that one by. We see the things that we don’t have, and we want them. We want to get these things for ourselves. This is capitalism at its basest root. Without coveting what others have, why would we work harder, produce more, and earn more? What would be the motivation?

Human beings are born with an innate sense of right and wrong, with the exception of those troubled and frightening sorts who are not. We know that sex with a child is wrong. We know that conning someone out of their money and leaving them with nothing is wrong. We know that thinking of ourselves ahead of our children is wrong. We know that war is just flat-out wrong. We do not need a church, state, or government to tell us it is wrong. We do not need outdated and frequently ignored orders to tell us what is wrong.

So I will offer my own set of commandments today, simpler, more modern ideas to help us all in our day to day life:

· THOU SHALT TELL THE TRUTH I told you that one was a keeper.

· THOU SHALT NOT STEAL OR KILL WITHOUT A DAMN GOOD REASON. Defending yourself, defending you family, stealing from hunger, these are damn good reasons. This is left vague for a reason, so that it can be interpreted on a case by case basis.

· THOU SHALT KEEP THY JUDGEMENTS TO THYSELF Don’t ever point a finger of judgement or ridicule at another human being. You don’t live that person’s life, so how can you judge? And really, how close of a look would you like for me to take in your personal closet?

· THOU SHALT NOT USE THE ONES WHO CARE ABOUT THEE if someone really and truly cares about you, and you know it, either accept and treasure that devotion, or cast it away altogether. Don’t use that person when it suits you and not otherwise. Guys, this counts especially for you, with that girl you have all known in your lives who was the fallback, the one you could call after six months of silence, and who would always take you back. The one who was always the guaranteed roll in the hay. Knock that shit off.

· THOU SHALT TRY REAL HARD NOT TO MESS ANYONE’S LIFE UP TOO BADLY. We are going to do it, no matter how hard we try, we are going to hurt people as we sail through our lives. Sometimes it is our own bling carelessness, and sometimes the individual sets themselves up to get hurt, and usually, it is a combination of the two. Try like hell to limit this as much as possible.

· THOU SHALT EXTEND A HELPING HAND WHERE THEY CAN call it karma or whatever, but what comes around does indeed go around. Can I walk through downtown Boston and give money to ever homeless person I see? No, I cannot, or else I would homeless too. But you can still try to do the right thing for someone when the opportunity presents itself, especially when there is no profit in it for you.

· THOU SHALT KEEP THY DICK IN THY PANTS UNLESS INVITED TO TAKE IT OUT Any sex crime, especially one against a child, should be met with a public execution. Period. End of conversation. But this one covers more than just sex crimes. Don’t feed her too many drinks and then give her a hop when she is too drunk to know what is going on. And ladies, this applies to you too. Sex is a wonderful thing, a gesture of love, a way to reproduce, an act of intimacy between two people who genuinely care about each other, and, generally speaking, an all around good time for al involved (if done right, of course). But do it wrong to someone, take from them what they did not want to give to you, and you have just fucked that person up on some level for life. So keep thy zipper closed.

This, to me, is the way I want to live my own life. Do I screw it up? Of course I do, I am only a human, nothing more. But this is the set of ideals, arrived at by reason and logic and the innate sense of right and wrong I was born with, by which I try to steer my ship. And the best part? It leaves my Sunday morning’s free to sleep in.

[Kyrena C.]
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